Our Babies Without Borders

 Our Babies Without Borders
Belladonna Marie and Blaize Andromeda

 
    On September 9th I was watching a rather gory movie "Parana" and all of a sudden began to crave a sugar cookie so badly I could smell it! I then remembered how sensitive and sore my breasts had been the past few days and all of a sudden it hit me.... I must be pregnant. The next morning in pajamas and all, I went to the store with my husband and got a test. I rushed home to take it and sure enough, the line was dark as could be, I was pregnant. It seemed a little early to me to be experiencing such strong symptoms, seeing as I could only be about 3 weeks along, but I didn't over think it. I scheduled a doctor's appointment and went in later that week. My mom had been joking about it being twins, considering I had 6 sets on my Father's side of the family and one set on my Mom's that had just been born that month.

      I was sure to ask the Doctor on the first appointment if there was one or two babies. He said it was too early to tell, but so far it only looked like one. The second appointment I made sure to ask again and same with the 3rd... Still one baby. When I was 12 weeks i had an appointment with another doctor to get the baby's neck measured to check for down syndrome. The ultrasound tech began the ultrasound and had the strangest look on her face. She kept looking at my file and back at the screen. She excused herself from the room, at which point my husband and I looked at each other, both worried something was wrong. When she came back in about 3 minutes later I finally asked her what was going on, and she asked me what we knew about the pregnancy, and I told her not much considering it was so early, just that THE BABY had a really strong heart beat at our last two apts, enough that the doctor had even commented on it being so strong... She said, "Well that's because there's 2 in there!!" She then continued to say that a specialist would be coming in to talk to us though, because she didn't see a membrane and he would have to look. At this point I was unfamiliar with what this meant or whether it was a good or bad thing. My husband and I sat staring at one another both overjoyed and overwhelmed. I didn't know what to think... or feel... excitement? nervousness? anxiety? fear? happiness? I was one big bundle of feelings that just couldn't settle! The doctor came in and did his own ultrasound. He continued to tell us congratulations; However... There was a however...

      He explained the difference between Mono/Mono and Mo/Di. That mine did not have a membrane to separate, and this could often be troublesome. He told us to tell the family but be aware and make others aware that there was a 50% chance we wouldn't be having these babies. My hopes weren't crushed quite yet though because he seemed confident, so I was too. He told me to schedule an appointment for tomorrow with my regular doctor and that he, being a high risk doctor would see me back in a week to discuss it further. When we went back to our normal doctor and told him what was going on, he moved us from the US room and into his office, closing the door. All I could think of was every movie where the doctor was giving a negative prognosis in his office, and wondering how many hearts had been crushed in this very room. he was very nonchalant and to the point. "There's a 50% chance your babies wont make it. I've delivered 2 sets of Mo/Mos and both ended badly with dead babies and the mother was almost to term. The cords were so jumbled it was a huge mess. I recommend termination, but hey, take 2 weeks to think about it and come back and let me know and we'll schedule a D&C." I couldn't even think of anything but how badly I didn't want to be anywhere near this jerk! On our way out he opened the door for us patted me on my back and said, "Don't worry, your obviously fertile, you can always try again." Smiling. I left shattered and in tears, going home and climbing into bed, wanting to escape this huge decision I was actually considering!!!! I hopped online and did even more googling... Negative Negative and more Negative stuff.... Finally a page, Monoamniotic.org BBS stream. A Chat? Okay. A support page. I immediately started and account and began talking to people. Everyone told me the same thing. Stop considering termination. Give them a chance. Yes its risky, yes its scary, but 50% is a chance. They didn't have to tell me twice! Looking at all the pictures of healthy, beautiful, happy twins, was all I needed to turn around my attitude and get positive. Yes, we had a long hard road ahead of us, yes, we would be traveling it. The next morning I went to my Doctors office to tell him I had made my decision to keep them and get my file to transfer over to the high risk group because I didn't want to see him anymore. He had me wait for 3 hours. I walked back, got my own file, and took it to my new group of Doctors.

     Day after day I woke up positive, but terrified. Would I feel them move today? Week after week we went to the doctor, Would they see two heart beats this week? Month after month was so bitter sweet. We had hit another milestone, and as the risk for strangulation went down the risk of compression went up. My doctors and I decided to do inpatient at 28 weeks. I was admitted and we planned to do the C-section at 34 weeks.

      Unlike many, my inpatient stay was uneventful. I had small contractions I never felt, no significant decels, no problems at all.

     On March 26th, 2012, I was 34 weeks pregnant. I went into the surgery room scared out of my mind at 7:45 AM, and at 8:17AM I saw my first beautiful baby girl Blaize Andromeda, and when they pulled her out my second baby girl's legs came with her... They unwrapped my second miracle baby Belladonna Marie from the cord that was loosely wrapped around her tiny self 3 times. Blaize was 4.6 and 16 inches long. She came out crying, eyes wide open. Bella was 4.1 and 16 inches long, but came out grunting. They suctioned the fluid from her lungs and let me kiss them both before they went to the NICU, my husband followed behind them.

 

Beautiful Bella!!

 Gorgeous Blaize!

     8 Hours later I met my sweet girls. Bella had been on Cpap for 3 hours but had already come off. Both were breathing fine on their own and Blaize had minor problems with her blood pressure but after a shot it had straightened itself out.

      They were both perfect, healthy, beautiful little girls!

     Over the next 3 days they moved rooms 3 times! Each room closer to home. The 3rd room was called the Fat Farm. Only for feeding and weight gain, and then they would be home. On Wednesday, April 5th, only 10 days after birth, Blaize came home! On Saturday Bella followed! :) Both back up to birth weight after dropping into the 3 lbs range. Our girls were home and our life could begin.

     My girls are now exactly 5 weeks old and doing wonderfully! Blaize is 6.3 and Bella is 6lbs! They are both 18 inches now! Neither one has health problems of any sort and they are so smart and strong!

     I am so thankful to all the people who supported me along the way from the MoMo Site and Facebook pages. I'm thankful to my husband, family and friends, and all their support and prayers along that rough journey. I'm thankful for my doctors, and nurses and for them doing all they could to make sure we were all safe, healthy, comfortable, and well taken care of. I'd like to give a big middle finger to my first doctor who had no faith in not only me and my babies, but in himself as a medical professional. Thanks for being an inconsiderate ass and chasing me into the care of the best doctors anyone could ask for! :)

     We are so fortunate and happy!

     So to Mommys struggling with the same or similar situation, just keep hope, keep faith. Everything will work out as it is supposed to.

     Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, your care, your babies care, and your rights as a Mother and Patient.

     And don't be afraid to talk over your feelings with someone supportive that is in a similar situation. Its okay to be scared. Its okay to be stressed out. Its a scary situation. But stay positive for you, and for your babies. :)

-Dani DiCapua
and Blaize and Belladonna