After two miscarriages, one naturally and one via IVF, I was told it was literally hopeless that I would be able to conceive. I have two teenage sons from my first marriage and my current husband and I so desperately wanted a child of our own we tried just about everything. I even had a failed IVF cycle with donor eggs. I was told that my FSH levels were so high that I could never conceive a child on my own. So my husband, John, and I decided that it did not matter if I was pregnant, what mattered is that we wanted to be parents. We started the adoption process and were matched with a beautiful 13 month old baby girl in July of 2010. It was then that I put all of the books on trying to conceive, ivf, etc. away. i stopped my daily ovulation tests and just committed myself to this little girl from China who so very much needed a mom, as her mom abandoned her in a bathroom at 3 days old.
In August of 2010 we left for Maui and had a great trip. We had a little girl to look forward to and my boys had quality time with their mom. Life went on and we were waiting to hear when we could go to China. We found out in September 2010 that we would have our little girl by Christmas! We were to leave December 2nd and get her December 6th. We were so excited! The first week of October I could not button my jeans. I thought this was really strange beause I was working out and exercising daily so I thought it was PMS. But when I looked at the calendar I realized I was late - about a week late. I took a home pregnancy test and it hit the double lines right away - WOW! Then I thought it was probably a chemical pregnancy and I would need to just prepare that it would probably not work out. My husband was shocked as well so we decided to take it one day at a time, preparing for the reality that it might not happen.
I called my doctor and because we were set to leave for China she saw me at 7 weeks. I told her I did not want to get my hopes up so please do not let me look at the monitor if there is no heartbeat. On the way into the ultrasound room she says "Wouldn't it be a riot if we saw two heartbeats?" thinking since I was in my 40's multiples are common. She started the ultrasound and said "Look! A strong heartbeat!" I was so excited. The she said "Wait a minute....I see TWO strong heartbeats!" I thought she was joking until she showed me these two little tiny beings, with their hearts beating in unison one in front of the other. The she said she could not see a dividing membrane and she was concerned that they could be conjoined. So my moment of excitement went directly to fear. A feeling that never stopped until April 13th.
At 11 weeks I had a high resolution ultrasound and they confirmed they were not conjoined but were in fact monoamniotic. I went home, went on the web and researched the info and burst into tears. I was so sad and concerned I did not sleep much each night just thinking about it. My OB would not clear me to travel, and referred me to a perinatologist who I saw every two weeks. I would go in, have an ultrasound to try and see the cords and was told "Looks good, you made it another two weeks." I never left feeling good about things, just more worried.
Meanwhile, I could not go to China so my husband went without me and brought back our daughter Maleia on December 19th. I was in my fourth month, went on medical leave from work and focused on bonding with her not only for her benefit but also to help keep my mind off of things. I had CVS testing and it confirmed that everything was fine and I was having girls! Quite a change to prepare for so many girls considering I had raised boys before this!
In March, at 29 weeks, I went into the hospital for continuous monitoring. Week 28 I did outpatient monitoring every day. The biggest fear would be when the girls would drop off the monitors and they could not find their heartbeats. Then the doctor would have to come in and do an ultrasound, even though they were kicking the heck out of me - They moved day and night, which brought me a little comfort. Between being woken up from the nurses and the movement of the girls I rarely slept more than 3 hours each night. I almost wanted them to calm down a bit because I was so afraid they were entangling themselves!
As the days went on and were uneventful, they would let me off the monitors to go for walks, visit with my family and try to get more sleep. The C section was scheduled for April 13, 2011 at 10AM. I did not feel well and felt rather large so by April 12th I was looking forward to my C Section. I laid out my makeup, camera, etc. so prepare for the morning. BUT - the girls had other plans...at 3AM on the 13th, 7 hours before my scheduled C section, I got out of bed to use the bathroom and my water broke. I called for the nurse and within 10 minutes I had an IV put in me, my stuff packed up and was calling my husband and my mom to tell them I was going in NOW. The doctor arrived 15 min later, then 10 minutes after that my husband. My water broke at 3AM and the girls were born at 4:09 & 4:10AM. Jenna and Makena.
I had been panicked in the weeks leading up to the C section because my boys were vaginal births. But the girls caught me off guard and I had no time to worry about it! They came on their own terms, healthy and so beautiful. They stayed in the NICU for one week, then were transferred to a lower level NICU near my house and spent the remaining 4 weeks there, so 5 weeks total. Jenna had a lot of A's and B's and Makena her fair share which would earn them additional weeks in the NICU. Other than that and some jaundice they were very strong healthy girls. I am so grateful - it was a long hard journey but worth every second. Everytime I see their smiling faces I want to cry - I am overwhelmed with joy. Adopting Maleia led us to these girls. It was all for a reason. So we are enjoying the crazy happy life of raising 5 kids we love so much! Whenever someone talks about odds I just laugh. We beat every odd, we are the 1%!
No comments:
Post a Comment