Miracles in the UK

There I lay with a 6 month beautiful bundle of joy and my husband said "I would like another" I smile and say, "in another 5 years", he looks back "I think I will be too old in 5 years. I want to see my children grow up. Look how close Riley and Tia are." (Grandchildren of a friend that are 15 months between each other) I look at him and say "yes, that would be lovely, they would be so close they would be like twins." (Famous last words)

Only the month after I take a pregnancy test which was positive, we were excited. 6 weeks into the pregnancy I started experiencing severe cramping, the doctors sent me for scan as they thought the pregnancy may be eptopic. We went into the scan and they were looking and my husband says "I bet its twins". I hit him and say "don't be so silly", the sonographer laughed and said "do twins run in your....oh!" Both me and my hubby looked scared at her "what's wrong?" we asked. She looks up, "I need a second opinion. I think I can see two fetal poles". "TWINS?!?!" I gasped and we were sent outside for 45 minutes. I remember thinking "I'm only 20, how am I going to cope with twins and a daughter under 2?"

45 minutes later we were called in and they said after looking over the pictures determined there were two fetal poles. My husband says "so we are having twins?" The sonographer looked back and said, "yes, Mr. Reynolds you are having twins. You need to come back in two weeks to be monitored". We agreed and left. Two weeks later in the same spot feeling just as nervous as before we were called in, they looked over and stopped. They told us there was a possibility that the twins were coinjoined and that I would have to come back in 2 weeks for a definite answer.

I left feeling numb I didn't know what quite to say or think. I dodged the subject with my husband till the next scan at 10 weeks. Again same position than before watching the clock tick over more anxious than either of the times before, again we were called in and at the end of the scan she said "Good news, they are definitely not conjoined but I want you to go for a scan in two weeks with a specialist as I can't seem to find a membrane". We sighed with relief but without realising what she had just said was bad.

I got home and curiosity got the better of me and I googled it, after reading all the horror stories. I sat there and cried. My husband sat beside me and asked what was wrong. I showed him and he said there may still be a membrane and not to worry. Having a daughter of 7 months gave me something else to concentrate on between being sick with morning sickness and feeling so tired of course. 12 weeks I sat in the same spot completely overwhelmed again she scanned them over and she looked at me again. "Urm, I'm going to clean you off and I think you should come and sit down." She cleaned my stomach, I rearranged my clothing and she looked at me and said, "I can confirm you are carrying Monochorionic Monoamniotic twins, they are extremly rare and in the UK have less than 50% survival rate. They are in the same amniotic sac and can easily tangle in each others cords which will result in fetal death, they can cut each others blood supply which will result in fetal death and also TTTS which can be handled but isn't 100% that it works. The negatives out weigh the positives and I suggest you get a termination."

On the way home we drove in silence as we parked outside our home in Broadfield, West Sussex (UK) my partner held my hand and said "I will support whatever decision you make." I sarcasticly smiled and got out the car. That night I tried to speak to a few close friends about it, neither knew what to say and told me to do what I thought was best. It was not much help at all. I then, I don't know why, searched in the tool bar MoMo twins and found the facebook group called MoMo Twins: Pregnancy, Birth and More. I spent 2 1/2 hours reading everybodies stories and it gave me a glimmer of hope. I turned to my husband and said, "Who am I to play God with two people's lives? I am not God and don't wish to be so. I am going to let nature take its course... If we come out with two, awesome, with one, so be it, and none, at least we would had tried. I can't give up on them." The next day I received my first consultants appointment at the local hospital where the consultant suggested that I go to 36 weeks and have them naturally and only have a section if there's trouble." I left feeling confused as she said the opposite of the specialist I saw, that night I lay in bed thinking about things. The next morning I decided to call East Surrey hospital (45 mins away) where I saw the specialist and asked for all my appointments there and with a more experienced specialist.

We continued our two weekly scans and all was going well until 18 weeks when I collapsed during a routine scan. I was rushed to accident and emergency and they did all sorts of tests and came back with that they thought was a blood clot on the lung. Over night they gave me blood thinning injections in hope it would flush the clot and the next day I was taken down to radiology where an Indian doctor sat me down and said, "You need to be aware that you are having radiology with gamma rays, we think your babies may have developed all its features BUT there's a chance they may have not and doing this may cause mutation." I asked, "what if I don't do this?'" He responded, "It's likely you won't be able to carry on with your pregnancy." I asked for a few minutes and thought of my options, I came to the conclusion that I would rather risk them being mutated than terminating them as I had I already felt them. I called back the Dr. and said "I will go ahead with procedure" I sat and hugged a huge machine while its took pictures of my lungs. I went back to the ward and anxiously waited the results. 5 hours later a Dr. came to me and said "they couldn't see any clot and they thought it may had flushed out."

Back home all was okay and carried on normally till 28 weeks. I was sat in my living room watching TV while my partner was in the bath  and I started to feel my stomach contracting; having a singleton before I knew what was happening. I left it a hour before I called down my hubby to take me to the hospital. We got there and they monitored me and said "if we can't stop this we need to organise an air ambulance to take you to St. Georges in London as we don't have the facilities here for two 28 week old fetuses". They gave me some medication which calmed them down and 2 hours later stopped. They told me not to go out by myself and do minimal walking and things around the house to avoid preterm labour. At the next consultants appointment she sent me for steroids straight away and said I needed a iron transfusion as my iron levels were dangerously low. The next Thursday I went in at 7am they started pumping the iron into me and at 8pm I was still there. A nurse came in and I asked "excuse me, do you know how much longer it will be as I've been 12 hours". She turned and sternly said "girls like you take up room in the delivery suite because you cannot be left in a chair. It will take as long as it takes". She walked out came back 10 minutes later, "so are you going to breast feed your twins?" I replied "I don't think its good idea to be up all night breastfeeding twins and be up early with a 14 month old."  She stared at me and said "Well, do you know you are going to kill those babies because formula will not digest in the system properly? I had a meeting with my team and we decided when and if you should have a section and we haven't agreed to it."  I looked at her and said "my consultant booked it months ago". I sat there holding back the tears and she then said "when that is finished I will take you to the NICU so you can see how they will be!".

Fifteen minutes later she left me at the door of the NICU and I went in and saw all these babies connected to machines and broke down and left the hospital and went home. The next day I called my consultant to say what had happened and she assured me the next day that the section had been confirmed and nothing to worry about. 1st of December came, delivery day, I was super excited when I looked out the window to see a blanket of snow outside.  We called a taxi who were hesitant to come and told us they would charge us double which my husband said "I don't care, we're having babies."

I got dressed in the gown, was sitting waiting patiently when I saw a smartly dressed man with a brief case who looked out of place on the ward. He was walking towards me he said "Miss Plant?" I looked at him vaguely "yes?!?". He said "I'm sorry to inform you we are unable to do your elective section today due to no space in the NICU at this current time." I got really upset I said "Do you not know how important this is? Do you not understand the consequences?" He looked down and replied, "I'm afraid I have done all I can." I asked "at least you will give me a scan right to monitor the blood flow?" He stated, "No, Miss Plant, we are unable to scan you today please make your way here tomorrow and we will try and fit you in". I went home rather angry but tried to sleep as much as I could.

The next morning I wake and look out the window and we had 2 feet of snow, we call the taxi who again is reluctant to come and said this time they would charge double and a half! Again we responded "We don't care, we are having babies." We drove to a family friend's to drop our daughter off as we went to turn around we were faced with a hill. The taxi did not want to go up but luckily there were 2 strong men trying to dig out their cars that James begged to help. We finally got up the hill with help from two local men and James when we get stuck again up a smaller hill, poor James had to push the taxi up by himself and faceplanted in the snow but like a good sport got back up without a word. It took us a hour and a half but we got to the hospital again. We got dressed for the section when I saw the smartly dressed man again. I looked at James and I said "I can't believe it, he better not be coming here." He stood at my bedside and I looked up, "Miss Plant, we are unable to do your section today due to lack of staff due to the snow. I have considered getting you to another hospital as we realise the importance but we cannot get any ambulances safely here. Please stay and we will see what we can do in the morning." James hugged me tight and said stay here and I will come back tomorrow. I was left 7 am till 7 pm with no monitoring, food or water, then the staff changed and a head midwife came and monitored me and gave me a sandwich and again before bed and showed me to a private room.

At 5am I woke to a knocking at the door and she said I've come to monitor you...I remember thinking all I want is to sleep. As she started to monitor she said "That's not good. Okay stay here I need to go get someone". 10 minutes later a group of people ran in with a scanning machine my little miracles heart rates were 200. They said "We need to get you up to delivery suite now, these babies are coming". I cried "please call my husband, I can't do this alone". They took me up to the delivery suite and the heart rates calmed down but the consultant said they need to come today. They were wheeling me out the room to theatre when James arrived as we went to exit the room I heard "there's not enough staff in the NICU". I shouted 'Noooooo!' And the anesthesiologist smiled and said don't worry "they will be here soon". After a hour I went down to theatre and Maddison Sophia was born at 10:30 on the 3rd of December, weighing 3.15lbs, and Mia Sienna 2 minutes later at 10:32 weighing exactly the same. Their cords were looped and tangled and the cord was wrapped round Mia's neck. Thankfully there was no deformities due to the gamma rays. After a 22 day stay in the NICU Maddison and Mia came home on Christmas day 2010 :)

"This can't be happening!" – The Riso Twins Story

My husband and I decided to start a family sometime in early 2008. Like any other naive couple about to embark on the journey to parenthood we figured it would be relatively easy. I mean, we spend most of our teenage years trying NOT to get pregnant so logically, once we threw caution to the wind it should happen fairly quick, right?.......WRONG! Here's where that title phrase made its debut appearance....."This can't be happening!" Unfortunately, it was.

So, after about a year of disappointment we sought the help of a reproductive specialist. After countless blood tests, MRI's, sonograms, surgery, numerous medications and several medical procedures we still weren't pregnant. After each failed cycle I kept thinking "this really can't be happening." The desire to become a mother had grown so strong that it took over my life. We decided to try IVF (in vitro fertilization). So, after one round and many tears I finally got my Second line! We were pregnant!  Blood tests all came back normal and my first sonogram confirmed one healthy baby….or so we thought.

Cut to 10 weeks pregnant. I went to my OB for a routine sonogram. Little did I know that on this day my life would be forever changed. He placed the wand on my belly and was quietly scanning around. Then, out of nowhere he said "I need to do an internal sono, I think I hear TWO heartbeats." My initial reaction was, yep, you guessed it, "This CAN'T be happening. My Baby has TWO hearts." haha. I honestly didn't think he meant twins. I mean, I saw the sono screen. There was only ONE sac and as far as I knew it was impossible for there to be more than one baby in them. So, the internal sono began and he confirmed what he originally thought...."it's twins" he said. But his voice wasn't enthusiastic...in fact his whole demeanor changed. He excused himself from the room and said he needed to make a phone call.

After he left my husband and I tried to wrap our heads around the news we just received. I was excited yet nervous because I knew something wasn't right. When he returned he explained that I was to leave his office and immediately make an appt with the maternal-fetal medicine specialist office. He basically said that he suspected I had what is called mono-chorionic, mono-amniotic twins. I was told the next doc would explain this further.

So, of course, I didn't what anyone in the 21st century would do...I "googled" it. As I began to read the various websites that popped up I couldn’t help but think, as you probably already guessed, "This can't be happening." Information flew across the screen in a blur. Phrases such as  "50% chance of survival, cord entanglement, and twin to twin transfusion syndrome" flooded my brain. It was all too much to process. I cried my eyes out for days, ok more like weeks. I emotionally detached myself from the pregnancy, which I regret today and will touch upon more later on. Friends and family were under strict orders NOT to purchase anything for the babies. A friend bought me a journal for me to write down my experiences and feelings....that journal remained blank....as I convinced myself not to do it because, well, I didn't want to remember anything if something was to go wrong (something else I totally regret today.)

Then, I decided to google "momo success stories" and again, information flew across the screen. Only this time, it was stories of other women who were in the same situation as me. Some pregnant still, some with babies in NICU, and other with older “momo” children. For the next few days, I browsed their stories and as I completed each one something in me changed. All of a sudden there was hope! I COULD be one of those women some day! So from there, I began to plan. Planned my inpatient stay, made a registry, ordered furniture and so on.

Unfortunately, at this point I began having problems unrelated to the momo diagnosis. I went into preterm labor and lost a lot of my cervix. At about 16 weeks pregnant I had a cerclage and was put on various medications to stop the contractions. I was admitted to the hospital twice for observation but allowed back home on strict bed-rest for the remainder of the journey. That was a nightmare in itself! It didn't end there.  Then, my AFP test results came back stating that the twins had a 1 in 5 chance of having a chromosomal abnormality; one that would result in death immediately after they were born. "Seriously now, this really can't be happening" was all I could think. I declined any further testing as I couldn't handle any more bad news and I knew that no-matter what, I was going to do my best to get them here safely even if it was only for a few minutes.

Finally, the day had come. It was early June when I officially turned 24 weeks pregnant. This was the beginning of the inpatient portion of my journey. The next almost 6 weeks are a blur. I am not going to lie it was hard. I was still on strict bed-rest so I was confined to a hospital bed all day. I didn't have my own room so parades of women would be brought in for a few days and eventually go home with their families or a bouncing new baby in their arms. Yet, there I laid, still weeks away from uncertainty. Visitors came and went as did most of the summer. I was on continuous monitoring so not only was a stuck on my back I had three different machines attached to me at all times (two for the babies, and one for my contractions.) The highlight of my days were the 10 minutes in which I was allowed to shower. In the end however, it was more than worth it.

Now, It was August 4th and my husband had brought me a Burger King chicken sandwich just as he did every Monday night, as it was my guilty pleasure! I was enjoying my dinner when my OB busted through the door with a bunch of nurses and residents.  "What is the matter with you?" he said. "Why didn't you buzz us?" I was so confused. I didn't need them...or so I thought. "Your contractions are 2 minutes apart and the babies heart rates are struggling with every contraction. It's time to get them out he said. Up to labor and delivery you go." I had no idea how to feel. I was so excited, relieved, anxious, and scared. I was only 31 weeks 6 days. I had no idea what to expect and we still didn't know if they were genetically normal. So up to L&D I went. I was prepped for surgery while I called my parents and told them the time had finally come. As I sit here and type this I can't help but tear up as this was a day that I truly never expected to see.

The only way I can describe the whole birth is surreal. As soon as the OB pulled out the boys I remember yelling over the curtain, "Are they O.K?" I will never forget his response...."Yep, they are fine and have all 20 fingers and toes!" It was at this point when I heard a little voice begin to cry and thought to myself, "This can't be happening!" Except this time, it was a happy phrase. It WAS happening. I was in such disbelief. I got to kiss them both on their heads before they were whisked away to the NICU. I couldn't believe it, they were SAFE! I knew the next few weeks would be hard as well but I didn't care...I was a MOM!

Carson Joseph was born weighing in at 4pds 1ounce and 16 ½ inches long.

Mason John was born at 3pds 15 ounces and 16 ½ inches long.

The next few weeks consisted of me recovering, preparing the nursery, going back and forth to visit the twins, and finally having a baby shower....or as I called it, my "welcome to the world Carson & Mason party"; A much more appropriate title in my opinion.

The NICU journey for us was rather uneventful.  The boys suffered from the basic preemie issues such as breathing and eating. They were both jaundice and contracted a minor infection while there but it was easily treated with antibiotics.  Below are some pictures from our journey. 

(Above are pictures of the boys first week of life. Both are intubated here.  Mason is the top picture and Carson is the bottom picture. )

After four of the longest weeks of my life the boys came home and completed our little family. They were the tiniest little angels! Shortly thereafter we were hit with the realization that they were both colic with severe acid reflux...but that's a story for another time and another blog ; ). 

(Above is the boys very first picture together on the day they can home from NICU. Those are preemie onesies on them and they still look huge. Now I look at preemie clothes and cant remember them ever being that Tiny!)

That brings us to today. My boys are happy and healthy at almost 19 months old. They are up to date on all of their milestones and gaining weight like it’s their job! They are definitely all boy; running everywhere and climbing on everything. Being a multiple mom is hard but worth every single second!

So, for all the expecting momo mommies out there hang in there. Miracles CAN happen. Don't focus on the future what-ifs, focus on the now. Read to the babies, sing to them, make a registry, paint a nursery, buy some cute baby clothes, because when things DO turn out well in the end you will regret not doing it. Stay strong and always remember "Worry does not empty tomorrow of it's sorry; it empties today of it's strength."